4 Traits of Women Growing in Godliness: Calley Sivils
To begin, I am the last woman who ought to be writing this because I am a) young and b) my flesh still wins. A lot.
However, I thought these traits might be more encouraging than yet another list of outward (and not necessarily biblical) qualities often espoused or implied as requirements. I think we've been told to "be soft" or to "keep a Pinterest-perfect home" or to "maintain a tiny waist" enough times to make our heads explode and to discourage our hearts.
Also notice that I didn't use the term "godly woman" in the title. While I think it's a good term, I also think it can give a false impression that a godly woman is someone who has “arrived” and who displays this “ideal character” 100% of the time which isn't true. This list (not exhaustive) is more focused on heart attitudes that are being strengthened by the Spirit's work in us day by day and, while applicable to all believers, can manifest in special ways in the lives of women.
1. She has an enduring spirit
This woman is not a lightweight. One knock might get her down but she always rises in a strength that is not her own. She anticipates that hard knocks may come but is not anxious about them; instead, she recalls the Lord's goodness and rises with His strength, ever trusting in Him. Difficulties might define her life for days or months or years and, though she is honest about her weariness in those seasons, she knows the glory of the risen Christ is in her future and she adores Him day in and day out in her heart, with her words, and by her deeds testifies to the world that He is worth it all.
2. She remembers that she is dust
This woman daily takes to heart the fleeting nature of life and attempts to capture every moment and live it fully for Christ and redeem it for His glory. She struggles with the temporal desires this world tempts us to chase after: cultural beauty, achievement, and acclaim. While worldly, these desires can even take on godly masks in church circles: the longest skirt or the least makeup, the most memorized verses or the wittiest thoughts in bible studies. Yet, she knows these small components and comforts of this life are dust and will pass away; her heart is so wrapped up in the Lord and His work that these small things cannot hold her heart for long before the eyes of her heart return to her Creator, who cared for the least of these and formed our forerunners from dust.
3. She runs to the Lord First
This woman knows her weakness; she recognizes it more deeply every day. Instead of fearing she isn't enough, she casts herself on the strength of the only One who will ever be enough. Her prayer life is growing and focused not only on her needs and desires (which she is honest about) but on others and also the concerns of the world. Crises and world events do not shake her because her relationship with the One who sets the world on its foundations steadies her. He is her Rock and she desires to seek out every nuance of His character. She drinks from the Word daily, knowing she is a sojourner on a long journey and ever need of water and sustenance in this strange land that is not her home.
4. She has a spirit of balanced wisdom
She also knows that perfection is out of reach and allows grace to flow from her lips and hands into the lives of others. She discerns which traits should manifest in a given situation and which actions and reactions will glorify God in a given trial or conversation. The wisdom of balance is hard to strike, for our flesh tends toward one end of the spectrum or the other (too passive or too aggressive). She strives to see more of Him and less of herself looking back from the mirror of her character.
Notice that all these traits can manifest and shine in thousands of different ways through different personalities, temperaments, tendencies, and bodies.
A woman is not called to be gentle and humble because it is "girly" but all believers are called to learn to be so because Jesus was (Matthew 11:29)
A woman is not called to be knowledgeable and unyielding on important matters because the world demands it but because Jesus was.
A woman is not always called to be submissive. She is called to be submissive in the correct contexts not because she is less but because Jesus was.
A woman is not called to be transformed into some cultural or individual subjective notion of an "ideal wife" or an "ideal mother" or an "ideal Christian woman." She is called to be like Christ. That will look strange to the world, yes. But it will also look strange to Christian circles that have allowed personal and congregational preference to define manhood and womanhood rather than God Himself. Whatever our God-given disposition is in these categories, each aspect is called to be transformed more and more clearly into a picture of Christ
Sisters, let us fearlessly be who we are in Christ and for Christ yet let us not withhold any part of ourselves or cling to any part of our fleshly personality so dearly we are unwilling to allow the Spirit to take it and even transform it.
One last note: without obedience, none of these traits will flourish. The above list is a description of the gradual outcomes and workings of the Holy Spirit in the grueling and sometimes painful day in and day out sanctification. We will never perform these things perfectly 100% of the time and there’s grace for that. Christ’s blood stands in place of our performance. Hallelujah!
Calley Sivils began her journey toward an Advanced MDiv in Biblical Studies at SEBTS in May of 2018, moving halfway across the country from her home state of Missouri. Her passion is to see cultivated in others a thirst for the Word, a passion for solid theology, and a drive to display Christ as returning King in thought, word, and deed. Calley is a member of Restoration Church and is an imperfect woman astounded hourly by the grace and mercy of a perfect God.