What Does it Mean to be a Woman?: McKenzi Martin

What does it mean to be a woman?

I think that’s a question all of us have to wrestle with at some point in our lives, and it just so happens that my wrestling began recently. Identity is a complex thing, and as I’ve sought to really understand who I am, I’ve found myself identifying the different aspects of what makes me me. One of those aspects is my identity as a woman.

I remember not too long ago, I was voicing some of my opinions on a particular issue, and someone told me that I shouldn’t be concerning myself with those things. And then they told me to “get married and have children”. In my flesh, I wanted to lash out. While those were things that I did want to do in my life, their words felt wrong. I knew that being a future wife and mother were not the sum total of who I was, nor were they the sole purpose for my existence. 

This is most likely a feeling that is familiar to most of us. We’ve all heard everyone’s opinion on what being a godly woman looks like. We’ve all felt the pressure to fit the molds and the expectations that others have placed on us. There’s a lot of voices competing to be the loudest, and it can feel overwhelming for us as women as we try to discern which one is right. 

And there is one that is right. But it’s usually not the loudest, the most forceful. It’s not constraining or overwhelming. Rather, it is life-giving. It whispers softly to us of the beauty and diversity and intricacy in every woman. It tells of a purpose beyond our roles as wives and mothers, it tells us of our purpose as ambassadors for Christ.

This voice—the voice of God found in Scripture and the Holy Spirit that lives within us—is the voice we need to be listening to. It’s the only voice that matters. And that voice does not tell us that we must fit into a caricature that society and the church have too often placed on us. 

So please, sisters, hear this voice and focus on it. Drown out all the other noise. Remind yourselves that while being a wife and a mother are beautiful roles God has given specifically to women, we are not any less purpose-filled when we do not find ourselves in those roles. 

Remind yourselves that being a woman does not equate to passivity or weakness. Strength in Christ is not only extended to men. Esther, Ruth, Deborah, Mary, Martha, and countless other women in Scripture exemplify courage, strength, and faithfulness that is no less than their male counterparts.

Biblical womanhood and femininity are ultimately determined by Christ-likeness, made uniquely beautiful by His orchestrating of traits and roles specific to us as women. It is no less or no greater than biblical manhood. It displays gospel-centered love and obedience above all else. It is not dependent on life stage, relationship status, career goals, personality traits, or physical appearance. It is defined by God alone, by His Word. It is not made up of societal constructs or personal preferences. 

So celebrate the variations that you see in women, that you see in yourself. Understand that there is unity in our diversity, and that biblical womanhood is much more than what the world tries to tell us. Each role that we find ourselves in as women is uniquely beautiful yet equally God-honoring. 

And please, as you seek to understand your identity as a woman, rely on the Lord first and foremost to form your understanding. Reorient yourself to look at the world and yourself in it through the lens of God’s Word rather than the society you find yourself in. 

Do not stifle who God has created you to be in order to fit a mold He never intended you to be placed in. 

McKenzi is an undergraduate student at the College at Southeastern. She is beginning her junior year this fall and is pursuing her degree in Christian Counseling. She is passionate about using her words to advocate for gospel-centered perspective in every area of life, and she hopes to use both writing and counseling to do so.